On December 19th 2020, my world shifted; my mom died. On the outside I was still functioning and trying to handle it. However, on the inside, the hole in my heart was gigantic.
On December 26th 2020, my world shook and tilted; my grandmother died. On the outside I was not functioning, I was numb. The hole in my heart became gargantuan.
Over the last two months I feel like my world has crumbled. I want to remember them but it hurts. I miss them so much, especially on Tuesdays & Thursdays.
See, I would call them on Tuesday & Thursday.
Usually the conversations weren’t too long but I got loads of love, inspiration and wisdom from them. I’d call my mom in the morning and my grandmother after work. We would talk about the weather, food and cooking, work, politics and family. I would tell them what cute antic my grandson did over the weekend. Like how one day he went to every room in the house and turned on the lights. They laughed and agreed that it was because he could reach the light switches and because he wanted to see his toys.
And since they both were up on current events, we would discuss the messy state of affairs of the country. They both had seen a lot in their lives and they were not impressed with 2020. Even still, they were sure to cast their votes in November. That tells me they were hopeful that “a change was going to come” (in my Same Cooke voice)
When I would share about my hectic work day and snarky coworkers, they would encourage me to do my best. My mom worked in primarily customer service based positions and grandmother had worked in healthcare so they both had experienced long work days and snarky coworkers. They also told me not to take any poop from said coworkers! If God had me there, it was for a reason and those who didn’t like it could just get over it.
The most popular subject by far was food. We would talk about cooking methods or how my husband made a big pot of spaghetti for lunch on Sunday or who had the best chicken sandwich. I got cooking tips from both of them and now wish I’d written them down. Our food conversations were also about what they had eaten that day. My mother was in a nursing home and assured me that she could do a better job than their kitchen staff. She would have an aide get her cereal and KFC or Fish-filets from McDonald’s for brunch. My grandmother sometimes would have grits, hamburger with gravy and cake/cookies for breakfast. Nope, not your usual meals, but it is what they enjoyed. And if you know like I do, no need to fuss too much with older people, they just do what they want.
So, for eight weeks I haven’t had anybody to call. I miss talking to them about everyday mundane stuff. So many times I’ve picked up the phone to call and share something, to check on them or to hear their voices. Yeah, Tuesdays & Thursdays hurt but so do Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.