Tuesdays and Thursdays Hurt The Most

On December 19th 2020, my world shifted; my mom died. On the outside I was still functioning and trying to handle it. However, on the inside, the hole in my heart was gigantic.

On December 26th 2020, my world shook and tilted; my grandmother died. On the outside I was not functioning, I was numb. The hole in my heart became gargantuan.

Over the last two months I feel like my world has crumbled. I want to remember them but it hurts. I miss them so much, especially on Tuesdays & Thursdays.

See, I would call them on Tuesday & Thursday.

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Hey, I got a joke for you….

Usually the conversations weren’t too long but I got loads of love, inspiration and wisdom from them. I’d call my mom in the morning and my grandmother after work. We would talk about the weather, food and cooking, work, politics and family. I would tell them what cute antic my grandson did over the weekend. Like how one day he went to every room in the house and turned on the lights. They laughed and agreed that it was because he could reach the light switches and because he wanted to see his toys.

And since they both were up on current events, we would discuss the messy state of affairs of the country. They both had seen a lot in their lives and they were not impressed with 2020. Even still, they were sure to cast their votes in November. That tells me they were hopeful that “a change was going to come” (in my Same Cooke voice)

When I would share about my hectic work day and snarky coworkers, they would encourage me to do my best. My mom worked in primarily customer service based positions and grandmother had worked in healthcare so they both had experienced long work days and snarky coworkers. They also told me not to take any poop from said coworkers! If God had me there, it was for a reason and those who didn’t like it could just get over it.

The most popular subject by far was food. We would talk about cooking methods or how my husband made a big pot of spaghetti for lunch on Sunday or who had the best chicken sandwich. I got cooking tips from both of them and now wish I’d written them down. Our food conversations were also about what they had eaten that day. My mother was in a nursing home and assured me that she could do a better job than their kitchen staff. She would have an aide get her cereal and KFC or Fish-filets from McDonald’s for brunch. My grandmother sometimes would have grits, hamburger with gravy and cake/cookies for breakfast. Nope, not your usual meals, but it is what they enjoyed. And if you know like I do, no need to fuss too much with older people, they just do what they want.

So, for eight weeks I haven’t had anybody to call. I miss talking to them about everyday mundane stuff. So many times I’ve picked up the phone to call and share something, to check on them or to hear their voices. Yeah, Tuesdays & Thursdays hurt but so do Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.

Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

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How I’m Living With KB253-1 Dec 20, So You’re Going to The Post Office

So you’re going to the post office. Here are a few tips to help you.

If you’re like me, you haven’t finished your shopping yet, gasp, clutch the pearls! But you do have gifts to send to a few friends across the country, even to your cousin in the Navy.

First, plan your trip. Yes, just like a Target run, you need to prepare. Are the boxes wrapped and addressed properly, do you need a customs declaration, can you ship cookies and batteries in the same box?

So before you pack it all in the car, stand in a long line only to find out it’s the wrong line, or realize you need more information, take these steps:

  1. Find out the busiest day and time at your local station. You can just go in to buy a book of stamps and ask the window clerk about the busiest times, the very last day to ship in time for Christmas or if they’ll be doing something different for mailing boxes this season.
  2. And while you’re getting stamps, you might want to pick up some free (USPS)boxes and buy some tape. Those boxes with the cute Christmas designs will cost you a couple dollars, plus postage. And guess what, the tape isn’t free people!
  3. Okay, now that you know the busiest times, the deadline and have the supplies, go home and get to wrapping.
  4. With everything wrapped, boxed, taped and addressed, you’re ready to ship. Before you leave, make sure you hydrate and have a mint or some gum. Be sure to take you mask, ear buds and grab a snack too.
  5. Once you’re in line, be sure to smile and share a corny joke, all while social-distancing of course. It’s never an enjoyable experience when somebody is bemoaning how slow the line moves. And you can tell when another customer didn’t prepare and will be asking to speak to the manager/supervisor. So smile; everyone is there trying to do the same thing, send love to loved ones.
  6. And remember, the postal workers want to deliver your boxes swiftly and safely, so don’t give them any gruff, especially if you took a short-cut. Not only do they have mail processing and delivery on their minds, they also have shopping, shipping and gifting to do for their own family and friends too.

Hope this helps make a better visit for you!

How I’m Living With KB253-9 Nov 20, Why You Love Her, #30Layers30Days

Let me tell you why I love her:
1. She is cheerful, encouraging and she is a giver.

2. She will do whatever she can to help you feel welcomed, comfy and important.

3. I love her because she’s not always confident in what she does, so she tries harder.

4. I loved her because she has 99 problems, but faith in God ain’t one.

5. I love her because she’s got curves, lumps, wrinkles and sometimes she sounds like rice disputes, but she keeps going.

6. I love her because she can graciously accept a compliment and praise God in the same breath.

7. I love her because even though her heart maybe broken, she still loves.

8. I love her because she likes corny dad jokes.

9. I love her because she is me.

How I’m Living With KB253-Words To Live By 

Dear sister friend,

I wanted to share some words to live by as we move into 2021. 


That’s it, write it down. See, when we write it down, something great happens.  It clears our mind and helps to clarify what we need to do.
So, the life application part is to take time to review all that’s happened to you this year; good, bad or indifferent. Make a list of what you enjoyed this year. Then commit to yourself what you’ll do more of ; write it in your favorite color even. 

Make a list of what you didn’t enjoy this year. Promise yourself what you not gonna do in 2021; write that down in your least favorite color.
Now for the really important part. Put your list where you can see it. Look at it daily. Do what brings you joy. 

Stop doing anything that tries to robs you of your peace. And lastly, write me back in a few months to tell me how your 2021 is going.

Take care, be safe, wear your mask (more words to live by),

Love, your sister friend

How I’m Living-6 Nov 20                #30Layers30Days, How do I explain?

I’m late getting started but I’m committed to participating in this challenge. I’m hoping it will be easier than the #50Squat a day challenge from the American Cancer Society.

How do I explain to her that telling the nurse that you can,”make do with just holding on to the door when you get into the shower” means you don’t need help? How do I say it again months later while being respectful and honoring her? My granny is getting older and some days she’s ok with it and some days she’s not. I try to help, but it is really hard to do so 2,500 miles away, during a pandemic, while dealing with her daughter’s, my mother, medical issues too. 

How do I explain the convoluted military medicine system has moved far ahead into the 21st century and they just want to talk to you on the phone due to the pandemic? And now that you’re actually going in to see the doctor, you only have a few minutes.

How do I explain that she needs more help than the family can provide? I don’t want to disappoint her. After all, she’s done so much for me. I just want her to live out her days enjoying Matlock and Family Fued reruns; playing blackjack on the Grand pad and eating her favorite cookies. 

How do I explain that I’m truly trying, but feel like I’ve failed her?

How I’m Living-3 Oct 20

I hope all is well in your part of the world.  We are well out here in the northwest.  It has been a news worthy year; first COVID-19 case, fires, a few smoke storms, unemployment fraud, a wind storm & the president hates us!  SMH, it is a great time to lean on God…IJS

How are you coping with the pandemic?  I know some folks are making the best of the situation and still others are struggling.  One thing has been evident to me, at times like these, you find out what’s important to you.  For instance, I’m not overly concerned that my car hasn’t been waxed all year, or that I haven’t seen the latest movies or even caught some great deals at Ross/Burlington. 

What I have discovered is that I have real quality time for my family, to be creative and to listen to the radio or podcast. The host on the local stations are ok; they don’t fake like it’s always so great out here.   I’m even enjoying the parks near my house as we have some nice spots in Pierce county for walking. 

My desire to write has once again emerged and it has been strong.  I started writing letters to connect and to fill that void in my life.  Now I know, only God can fill whatever empty spot I have; and I know because He’s using writing to do so in me.  So let me share a funny story with you about how God takes care of me. 

So one day a few months back, pre-COVID, my co-teacher and I were going to pray at 6pm so I decided to ride the bus to work.   I got to the stop at 0627; the bus was scheduled to be there at 0638, I thought.  After waiting until 0640, I checked the app and see that the schedule changed, just like it does every September (doh!); the bus was now due at 0650.   Ok, I’m good, it wasn’t raining hard, I had on my Columbia jacket and my new 90’s throwback bucket hat.  Thank God for His provision as the hat came in the mail the day before.  So 0650 comes, here comes the bus, good, I think, I’ll have time to get coffee, and there goes the bus!  She was going fast but slowed down, almost didn’t see me she says…(pink jacket, phone lit because I was checking the app AND I was standing under the street light) but I got on.  The route leaves the main road and makes a circle through the VA Medical Center so it takes about 20 minutes all together.   Seeing the people, with all sorts of disabilities waiting for the clinic doors to open; and the wide economical gap for the haves and have-nots around American Lake helped to put my  little attitude about the bus driver in perspective.  I got in my feelings because I was trying to be green, support the local economy and be a good tax-payer darn it!  She didn’t have to be going that fast and almost miss me at the bus stop.  IJS, yeah, I was feeling some sort of way about it and the actual riding time was needed. It was enough time for sun to rise and for me to gather my thoughts.

So I get off at the stop closet to work and find that it is raining a little bit harder. I pull out my cool hat and go get my coffee.  From the stop to Starbucks is less than 100 yards and I saw two homeless people.  They were up and moving out of the doorways they had slept in the night before.  Once inside I see that it’s not busy so I order a pastry too.  After all, my morning has been a little exciting and I deserve a treat. (Insert #PNW Karen voice so you can feel what I’m thinking).  Coffee and cheese danish in hand, I start for the office.  By this time it’s brighter and I can see a homeless couple by a furniture store.  I’m embarrassed for them so I keep my head down.  “Good morning”, says the lady and I look up to see her smiling; I give her my reply and smile too.  I shake my head, shoot, if she’s got a sunny disposition then I need to get it together.  Here I’ve slept in my house all night, chose my mode of transportation, been blessed with the right gear for a pacific northwest fall, walking upright without any mobility devices and decided what I what to eat. 

It took me just a couple more minutes to get to the office and in that time I felt convicted about my attitude.  I stopped, asked God’s forgiveness and started thanking Him for all the things I that had annoyed me just seven hours into the day.  I gave Him praise for the bus driver even.  After all, she was where she was supposed to be, when she was supposed to be; it was my presumption about the schedule that started my annoyance.  Then I took a deep breath, went into the office and I still made it to work on time!   

How I’m Living-2 Oct 20

Being diagnosed with rheumatoid disease stopped me from doing lots of stuff but I miss running the most.

So I was walking the other day and I was thinking that maybe, at some point I could run again. Nothing and nobody has said not to run  but it was so painful that I stopped. Being diagnosed with rheumatoid disease stopped me from doing lots of stuff but I miss running the most.

I even talked to God about it. I was saying to Him that I knew I couldn’t do it on my own, that I needed help from Him.  I was saying that it would be nice to run around the park by the end of the year; I think I might have said one mile but I’m not sure.  I was thinking that I run around the park with my grandson and I need to practice because he’s getting faster.  

So, then a family comes to the park-a mom, brother and sister. The little girl was on her scooter; she looks to be 9 years old or so and I recognize that she’s differently-abled. So she’s just scooting/riding along, singing and really enjoying herself.  Her mom was slower than me so I lap them. As I start another lap the girl follows me and soon she passes me. She gets about 25 yards ahead and waits for me; when I get close, she takes off. And we do that a few times but she gets bored, then plays with her brother. Then once I pass by them, she jumps on her scooter and says, “chase me!”  I laugh and say, “I’m not that fast.” But I gave it a try. I started speed walking and once again, she gets a little ways from me and waits for me before she takes off again . I was starting to breathe hard but was enjoying myself.  

Soon they left, they all said goodbye; the little girl waved excitedly to me and said thanks. I waved and said bye as I wiped a little sweat from my forehead. I was thankful that I could keep up with her. Later, I thanked God for providing somebody to get me to move faster. Then I thought, “duh, I should’ve jogged!”  I thought I’d missed an opportunity but then I remembered that my God is good to me.  I know I’ll have another chance to jog around the park and maybe even keep up with the little girls on scooters.